i hate the theory of nothingness

i have always tried to believe that everything works according to choices you make and the knowledge that you can never control everything in any given situation.

i'm 24 years old and i have been bumming around for 2 months now. i don't have a job and i'm impatiently waiting for that job coming from everyone knows where. and since i hate not doing anything, i don't particularly like what occupies me these days, which is summarized in one word - NOTHING.

i was told that in a Philosophy class at the University of the Philippines, the professor asked the students to submit a 100-page paper on the theory of nothingness for their finals. True enough, the students submitted their papers. One brave soul submitted a 100-sheet blank paper. He got a 1.0.

compared to what I have been doing and that student, I guess he's better off than I am. At least he was doing something. While I am stuck doing - NOTHING.

I wonder now if everything is a joke and I am not going to be able to leave after all. As I mentioned countless times, I am not a patient person. and so I hate being stuck in NOTHING.

I think I ought to occupy myself making those jewelry boxes and frames I so dearly love doing... but then, somehow, i lost my desire to make more of them. and i honestly don't know how to get myself going when it comes to my craftwork.

hmmm... mom and i are going to divisoria this weekend, maybe i can buy beads and shells and strings so I can begin making my bead curtain.